Friday was Valentine’s Day, a day that is not very important to me and that I think unfortunately has become overrated over the years. In the U.S. many of my friends with children and my sister were frantically baking treats and cutting out paper hearts and putting glitter on them for all the children in the class. This is not the original meaning of Valentine’s Day. I won’t go into that because you can look that up yourself.
You know that I’m from the United States and maybe that I am married to someone from the Netherlands but today I’ll tell you how we met 20 years ago this summer. It’s still one of my favorite stories and I’m glad it’s my own.
When I was 22, I was finishing my degree programme at American University in Washington D.C. in Environmental Science and Policy. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. The year before in 1999, I had studied abroad in Ecuador and it was a life changing time for me. I met friends who I am still friends with today. I improved my Spanish dramatically and I got to see some amazing nature in South America. A friend of mine, Kate, was still in Ecuador in 2000 and asked me if I wanted to come down to travel with her and our Ecuadorian friend, Omar for a few months before finding a job and starting my adult life. I had been working and saving up money for after college so instead of being “smart”, I said yes to Kate and bought a plane ticket to Ecuador. I stored all my belongings at my grandmother’s house and friends’ houses, got on a plane with a backpack and $2,000 in my bank account for 3 months of travelling in South America. When I got to Ecuador, Kate and Omar and I started taking some Portuguese lessons because we wanted to end up in Brazil where Portuguese is the main language, not Spanish. We also took out maps every night and tried to make plans but we never agreed on where to go. Omar wanted to go through the rain forest on small boats until he reached the Amazon. I wanted to take a more traditional route, travelling south to Peru and Bolivia, checking out some major sites and then making my way back north by boat and bus. Kate wanted to travel north through Colombia and Venezuela; at the time there were some areas where it was still quite dangerous because of the FARC (a rebel group) and I had promised my mom I wouldn’t go to Colombia.
To make things more complicated, Omar and I had not exactly had a serious relationship by any means but when I was in Ecuador in 1999 we had often gone out dancing together (salsa, merengue) … but now Kate and Omar were definitely in a romantic relationship. I didn’t mind that at all but didn’t want to travel together with the 3 of us because I didn’t want to be a “third wheel” – that’s a fun English expression to know. 🙂
So in the end, we decided to go our separate ways. We would meet at the Hotel Branco in Manaus, Brazil on August 4th, 2000 and try to keep in touch. At that time, there were internet cafes but no smartphones, no whatsapp, so we could only communicate by email when we got to a place with internet. Some weeks we had very little contact, especially Omar in the middle of the rain forest on small boats.
I went south, visiting some friends along the way in various cities and towns but also travelling quite a lot by myself – meeting other tourists from Europe, the states or from South America – sometimes I traveled with only Spanish speakers and that was great practice for my conversational Spanish. I had a great time but did have to take care of myself – making sure I caught the right bus, making sure I kept my passport and bank card safe. One time I left someone watch my backpack for me so I could go to the bathroom and they stole my sneakers! 😦 That was a good lesson. My sandals also got stolen from the beach one time so I had to buy new shoes twice. Oh well.
In Bolivia, in the capital city of La Paz, I wanted to buy a phone card so I could call my own family in the states but also my host family in Ecuador whom I had lived with. No one was available at the front desk of the hostel (Hotel Austria – I still remember the name). So I ended up asking a young man who was reading a book that I loved by an Irish author. The book was called Angela’s Ashes and the young man is now my husband – Micha. 🙂 Micha gave me an idea of where I could buy a phone card and then I called my host family. He was impressed with my Spanish and asked me how I had learned it and we started chatting. He invited me to eat Chinese food with a group of French and Dutch travellers that night and we ended up talking together the whole evening – about rugby (which we both had played), about Celine Dion ( a Canadian singer we both didn’t like) about our families (the book reminded him of his brother). I couldn’t believe how handsome and smart he was and was very amazed that he liked talking to me.
The next day we went to a museum together and the day after that we went with a group to the rain forest in Bolivia. Micha hates small planes and gets very sick on them (he still does) – I felt bad for him and gave him some water and patted his back on the plane. In the rain forest, we shared lots more stores, fished for piranhas, looked for anaconda snake with our guide, saw beautiful birds and nature and laughed alot. In the middle of the night I woke up in our cabin and realized I had to go the bathroom but I was super scared that I would be eaten by a jaguar so I asked him to come with me. If you all can think of something more awkward – I don’t know! ! ha ha. I was really starting to like this guy but had to ask him to come into the forest with me in the night so I could pee – I didn’t get bit by a jaguar but by mosquitoes! He was of course a perfect gentleman. 🙂
After our 3 day rain forest tour, it was time for me to travel by myself north to meet Kate and Omar and it was time for him to go back to Peru. At the last minute, he asked me if he could come with me for the rest of my trip – he didn’t want to leave me. That was the most romantic and brave thing and I’m soooooo happy he asked me. I said yes and the rest is history. We travelled together by boat up to the Amazon river for 9 days learning all about each other. My Portuguese was not that great and his was non-existent so we could only talk to each other because it was not a tourist boat at all. We ate fish for almost every meal and saw pink river dolphins and slept in hammocks every night side by side with all the other people. I was late to meet Kate and Omar but couldn’t tell them; they thought I was dead or kidnapped and almost called the US embassy. When I finally found Kate she said to me – oh my god Lara – you better have a good excuse for being late – like having found the love of your life. I told her yes I think I did.
We only travelled 3 weeks together – Micha and me and then I had to go home and he had to go back to his job in the Netherlands. But we were so in love we wrote letters every week, emails every day and called until we barely had any money because we spent it all on phone cards. We travelled to see each other and met each other’s families and in the next summer August 2001, he proposed to me and I said yes.
Many days, our lives are pretty boring, middle aged parents’ lives – we have to clean our house, try to raise our beautiful but challenging (sometimes) kids, we have to pay bills, do our work, save for the future, take kids to football practice, take the car and bikes to be fixed. But I can still close my eyes and see that boat on the Rio Branco, I am talking to a cute Dutch boy in a hammock, we are watching birds and lightning storms, we are holding hands. I don’t have to celebrate Valentine’s day but I am very happy that 20 years ago I took that adventure to travel by myself even though it was a bit scary and not very financially responsible. I am so happy he asked me if he could come with me and that we were crazy enough to make a long distance relationship work for a 1.5 years until we could be together. Hopefully for as long as possible.
The world is changing quickly – also how people meet each other. I hope you all have the chance to be adventurous, to be loved by family and friends and maybe just maybe find someone who brings out the best in you.
Prep Time 